Smart Software

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My RSS feed is now going through FeedBurner.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/smartsoftware

This is the preferred URL, but my old feeds will still work.

The main non-feedburner link is:

http://wesnerm.blogs.com/net_undocumented/index.rdf

 

You Like Me

My Calvin and Hobbes RSS Feed went blank yesterday after I provided a link on my last post, Comics. I couldn’t help thinking that it may be due to a mysterious new Wes Effect. Then I noticed my blog being listed #53 in the top 300 Feeds That Matter For Programming. Hmm, I did get an MVP award earlier this month.

Suddenly, a feeling began to sink in. I became reminded of a quote by two-time Oscar winner Sally Field. Here’s an excerpt from her Wikipedia entry with the quote in question.

She won another Oscar in 1985 for her starring role in Places in the Heart; her gushing acceptance speech is well remembered for its earnestness. In it, Field stated "I haven't had an orthodox career, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!" [1]. The line ending in "...I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!" is often misremembered as simply "You like me, you really like me!" which has subsequently been the subject of many parodies. (Field parodied the line herself in a commercial.)

Another related quote is from Saturday Night Live’s Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley (played by Al Franken) in which a self-help expert urges viewers to look in the mirror each morning and reaffirm their worth to themselves by saying…

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.

Email Do's

I focused my last post on email Don'ts, so it was somewhat negative.

I am not antisocial. Just don't use me as a computer support person, corporate spy, philanthropist, programmer for hire, or search engine. I am also not currently looking for employees, especially in a foreign country.

However, I do enjoy reading and responding to mail that is interesting and relevant in some way, maybe blog-related feedback or in special topics on AI, mathematics, and programming. The key here is mutually beneficial information.

I like chatting with other bloggers, experts, entrepreneurs, and academics. I also respond to business requests, invitations, appreciation letters, and so on. I don't typically respond quickly though, unless the email appears urgent. The longer the response expected from me, the longer it takes for me to respond.

Email Do's and Don'ts

Following my Asperger's post, I decided to include some canned responses to other frequent mail requests.  I often don't respond to email within a short time frame, especially if the email requires a lengthy response, except if I have heard of you or your blog before or if you are proposing a business relationship. When I do answer email, it's typically in batches.

How does Excel/Word implement "X"?

I am not going to reveal any trade secrets. It's against the law, and there is no reason to expose myself to legal liability for someone I don't know (or even for someone I do know). I generally assume that anyone who asks me questions about Microsoft software internals might be an FBI agent. I am fully capable of becoming wealthy on my own merits that I don't need to lose the peace of mind that comes from being a criminal.

You almost definitely would not want to implement your application in the same manner as Microsoft, anyway. Each application has different design goals. Besides, there are plenty of open-source spreadsheets and wordprocessors to look at, but, if you can't come up with your own algorithms, your software probably isn't going to be that good anyway. 

I personally don't use any techniques that I have learned at Microsoft for my own software; in fact, I use an entirely different programming paradigm.

Also, when I do write about experiences in Excel, I cite publicly available information from websites and books like "Microsoft Secrets," which incidentally focuses on the Microsoft Excel group.

Can you help me interview for Microsoft?

If you are a good enough programmer, then you do not need my help. Good programming skills come from programming extensively, and, if you are not programming regularly, then a programming career might not be a good choice for you.

If you are a bad programmer, then I don't want to help you get in; my help won't make a difference anyway. Also, your career will becoming exceedingly miserable and short-lived if you accidentally do make it in without the skills.

There are plenty of interview resources on the internet.

Please, Bill Gates, I need money.

It surprises me that this is my most frequently emailed request. Bill Gates must get tens of thousands of such requests a day.

I am not Bill Gates; I just wrote a post about him. I am guessing that English is not your native language.

I understand that in some cultures, especially Islamic countries, mandatory 10% tithing on income is required of wealthy people, resulting in an ecosystem of beggars.

It doesn't work that way in the US; poor people have it tough here.

Can you get me in contact with Bill Gates?

No. I do have an indirect connection with Bill Gates through his technical assistant, but I will not destroy it for the benefit of a stranger, especially a low-priority communication in response to some viral chain mail purportedly written by the Man. My connection might be useful to me in the future, if I ever need to sell my own company.

How do I do X in C#?

I'll only tell you if the answer takes one sentence, or I'll only point you to the resources if it takes me less than a minute to.

Don't expect me to write a function to resize a multidimensional array for you. Any answer requiring brainpower won't happen; I need to maintain my reserves for my mentally intensive programming tasks.

Can you fix my computer?

Sure. Please pay me $250 an hour in advance for my services. My time is valuable.

Can I instant-message you?

I tried this before but did not enjoy the hours that I lost from the experiment. Even though I am self-employed, I just don't have that kind of time. I'll evaluate the request on the potential value of the networking relationship. If you are a high-profile person (blogger) or have valuable connections, then your value is higher. It should be give-take, not give-give.

Driving While Talking

Whenever I am talking to a passenger while driving on the freeway, I often miss signs and forget to take the proper exits long after I realize what I have done.

I don't usually edit while I write, except for the usual spell-checking. I don't want to create more work than necessary. The main purpose of posting is to just get some thoughts of mine down in written form. I think the process improves the clarity of one's thinking.

Anyhow, the last few posts contained more than the usual number of errors, so I will be redoing them in the next couple days, possibly adding more information. I have mentioned mistakes in blog posts before.

There are a few differences in my blogging procedure. I have been experimenting with the new Windows Live Writer blogging program from Microsoft, and I have been cutting and pasting links that I have collected and categorized for future posts. These two events introduced combined to form a major distractions. I was also possibly more tired than usual.

Feed Problems

Recently, my ATOM feed has been coming up as raw html in some people’s browsers for the past few weeks. If you have these problems, please subscribe to one of following two alternative feeds.

RSS 1.0 (RDF): http://wesnerm.blogs.com/net_undocumented/index.rdf
RSS 2.0: http://wesnerm.blogs.com/net_undocumented/rss.xml