About

I am a software developer in Seattle, building a new AI software company.

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December 29, 2008

Underachievement

My parents recently purchased a vacation/retirement condo in Florida. All the family members reunited for the grand opening earlier this month. I was very impressed. The floor is all marble. The walls facing the Atlantic Ocean are completely glass window, and the curtains are shaded, so that sunlight does not come through, but the ocean view is preserved.

Miami (22)  Miami (21)

Miami (26) Miami (27) 

The balcony...

 Miami (29)Miami (31)

There is a beautiful beach, conveniently located behind the condo, and a golf course and tennis court.

Miami (36) Miami (32)

Mom suggested that I move in the condo (or in the regular home) rent-free, because it is absolutely crazy that I am paying rent to live in Seattle. It's something that I am considering, but am not likely to choose, because doing so would present a fixed moving cost as well as the opportunity costs of leaving Seattle. Our regular home is also very nice, traditional and rich in little detail.

All of this adds to the very palpable gap between my lifestyle as a software developer and that of my family and friends all, who are all in the medical profession. The circle of people I was around were all highly educated and successful, but I never thought of myself or my family as being exceptionally well off. My father is conscious about each dollar, seeking value without lowing his standards; we do normally fly coach. At every family vacation, he surprises us with an over-the-top experience to exotic locations.

I am not very attached to material things, but tend towards minimalism. I could never appreciate the advantages of an expensive car over a regular one; the expensive car sometimes had broken window and a missing radio. But, I still have in me a persistent sense of underachievement relative to my father and siblings.

My father always seemed to aspire to an aristocratic sense of being. I am reminded about this Slate review of the film Metropolitan. My father only listens to classic music and only watches the classic films and operas, while deriding modern movies as devoid of substance. As youngsters, my siblings and I were forbidden to wear jeans, tattoos, and other symbols of the working class. My parents speak of noblesse oblige and etiquette.

My father was disappointed that I did not continue on to graduate school to pursue a PhD, all the more so because of the social barriers introduced by my race and his full coverage of my tuition. My father would regularly remind me that my salary was "peanuts," and that just to maintain his home each year was $100K. His early (but since evolved) impression of the MBA degree was that it was similar to a vocational degree, but this is due to the deep French bias against the merchant class.

Reboot

It has been about a year so far since I have written anything substantive in this blog. Yet, over the year, I have actually started on writing a number of blog posts that have never materialized. I think that there are a few reasons...

(1) Although I have been treating this as a personal blog, I felt the quality of my writing had to improve, which means spending more time composing and editing.

(2) A number of posts were going to be about the technology underlying my product, and, since there was still more work for me to do, I felt it too soon.

I still get mail about NStatic. I am still developing NStatic, and will eventually release it. Due to health and fatigue, I have not been directly developing for half the year, following several years of non-stop 7-days-a-week development (on this and other products) and no vacations and little entertainment.

My quality of life is at this moment very low, probably equivalent to or less than that of a graduate student; my outlay is over $2K a month. My existence is mostly online. Though I live in the Seattle metropolitan area, I have probably visited Seattle proper at the rate of once or twice for each of the past few years. I needed to correct an imbalance in my life as it has hampering my motivation.

My hiatus began late spring after I accidentally poisoned myself by handling and absorbing thought my skin diluted household bleach, which sent me to visit the hospital, kept me bedridden for a few weeks and subsequently affected my productivity for the remainder of the year. I felt sore internally, and my focus and vision was significantly diminished. Faces and text became blurred that I began wearing glasses, but my eyesight improved over time and seems to have recovered recently after using Visine. On a related note in September, I also suffered effects of stomach ulcers from heavy use of caffiene after trying an energy pill. It wasn't a good year for my health.

I have continued to read academic papers, follow online courses, purchased books on the subject and follow development blogs. I spent some time thinking in a high-level way about my goals. I also started doing things within my limited budget that I cared about like this election, in which I voted and volunteered for Barack Obama, Chris Gregoire, Darcy Burner.

I am getting back to development. If I haven't delivered by the end of first quarter 2009, though it might reflect severe motivation as each delay is an expensive financial impact.

I'll write more posts, but they'll initially be short.

May 09, 2008

Energy Redux

In my Performance Enhancers post, I remarked about an energy formula called RedLine. My observation after using it for a few months is that the drink seems to be effective for weight loss in addition to building energy. RedLine was a bit hard on my heart, so I sipped about a fifth of a bottle a day rather than the recommended half of the bottle, and switched my primary drink backed to Rockstar.

A few weeks ago, I tried a new energy drink, FRS healthy energy. I was actually impressed by its effectiveness with few calories and no caffeine. Unlike the other two products, my energy feels eerily natural. I was actually skeptical after the first day of use, because I expected to feel some kind of artificial kick but instead experienced a sustained (possibly heightened) "normalcy" in my energy level, the kind of energy one feels early in the day. Only after several drinks in one sitting, after which I was unable to sleep for a whole night yet was energetic as ever, did I come to the conclusion that the product was real.

This may be something that I could use on regular basis without worrying about the future risk of heart disease.

January 11, 2008

Performance Enhancers

Marion Jones, former Olympian gold medal, may be serving time for lying about using performance-enhancing drugs.

I myself have a confession to make. I use performance enhancers to gain that extra unnatural edge over other developers. I am currently using RedLine, a potent energy enhancing formula, which I ordered from Amazon a month ago, but GNC also stocks the product. I was looking for something a bit more powerful than RockStar, my previous energy drink of choice.

RedLine delivers spectacularly, almost as good as the Ephedra I consumed before it was banned three years ago. It works by inducing the body to shiver. Plus, it doesn't have any calories like RockStar. (The diet version did nothing for me, but RockStar Zero Carb might be more effective than RockStar Diet Drink.)

I have seen many reviews on the Internet by users, about half of which have had extreme reactions (uncontrollable shaking, stomach cramps, elevated heart rate, seizures) from using it and questioning why the product isn't banned by the FDA. It's been called "crack in a bottle." Still, there are others who don't feel affected by it. The product includes multiple warnings, and you are only supposed to drink half a bottle. I am not making a recommendation, because you could possibly die, but I will stick with it.

December 09, 2007

Stuff

I used to keep stuff around in anticipation of future use--anything that still works and wasn't redundant. I had this mentality that stuff was an asset; throwing stuff meant throwing money away. I was a heavy saver, so I normally didn't buy new things and my possessions remain relatively small.

Over the years things kept accumulating, introducing mental and physical clutter. I have had belongings and clothing from fifteen years including college and childhood. I began to feel stressed and paralyzed as I felt a kind of information overload from all the clutter.

At first, I would purge things when I felt overloaded, usually expired or redundant junk. I later progressed to preemptive triages after lengthy time intervals--items that weren't used for such amount of time were discarded.

I moved last month from my previous home of seven years, and in the process discarded any possessions that I do not use regularly in order to reduce clutter, simplify my life and conserve my mental energy. I went real deep, including most of my clothes and books. I contacted Got Junk three times to magically remove items that I never wanted to see again.


Paul Graham wrote an essay on "Stuff" this past summer, which I connected with.

I have too much stuff. Most people in America do. In fact, the poorer people are, the more stuff they seem to have...

It wasn't always this way. Stuff used to be rare and valuable. You can still see evidence of that if you look for it. For example, in my house in Cambridge, which was built in 1876, the bedrooms don't have closets. In those days people's stuff fit in a chest of drawers. Even as recently as a few decades ago there was a lot less stuff. When I look back at photos from the 1970s, I'm surprised how empty houses look. As a kid I had what I thought was a huge fleet of toy cars, but they'd be dwarfed by the number of toys my nephews have. All together my Matchboxes and Corgis took up about a third of the surface of my bed. In my nephews' rooms the bed is the only clear space.

Stuff has gotten a lot cheaper, but our attitudes toward it haven't changed correspondingly. We overvalue stuff.

Shortly before Paul's essay, the Onion, a satirical newspaper, published a disturbingly accurate article "Chinese Factory Worker Can't Believe the S--- He Makes for Americans," describing a Chinese worker's disbelief of Americans' need for the junk he assembles like cup holders, salad shooters, or plastic bag dispensers. The article ends with the kicker, "Somehow, the only thing more depressing than making plastic s--- for Americans is destroying the plastic s--- they send back." Funnier still, I felt the same disbelief as the fictional worker.

During my move, I walked through the aisles of Ace Hardware and noticed all sorts of convenient devices that automated simple tasks that were once done by hand. I know that if I purchase one of these conveniences that, more likely than not, it will remain unused and just occupy space.

We live in a society that encourages and rewards theses inventions. A few years ago, my uncle contacted me to see if his low-tech idea was patentable. In my business school, I gained some insight into the infomercial business through a case study in which a bad product was continually pushed to customers because revenues exceeded the costs of high returns until excessive chargebacks cause the bank to hold back payments; the company, one of the pioneers in the infomercial business, was almost done in by greed.

Just yesterday, I came across the "Story of Stuff" by Annie Leonard which looks at the production and consumption of stuff and describes the various harm socially and environmentally caused by our obsession with stuff.

imageDo you have one of these? [Annie holds up an iPod.] I got a little obsessed with mine; in fact, I got a little obsessed with all my stuff. Have you ever wondered where all this stuff comes from and where all this stuff goes when we throw it out? I couldn't stop wondering about that, so I looked it up in the textbook and the textbook says that stuff moves through a system.

 image

Stuff goes from extraction to production to distribution to consumption to disposal. It's call the materials economy.

While there is a strong progressive agenda, it is still interesting to watch. I, for instance, find the environmental arguments more convincing than the social arguments.

Our way of life is maintained through the creation and movement of stuff. We are led to believe that "growing our economy" is good, and perhaps it is partly true. A larger economy brings in more tax dollars and jobs. A sad byproduct is our homes flowing with more questionable and unnecessary stuff over time. In concrete terms, a larger economy means more stuff--and also hidden tradeoffs with the environment from which we get the raw materials to make stuff.

We accumulate more stuff, because we can't throw away the old stuff because it still retains some value. We become like the textbook "economic" man, maximizing stuff, basing decisions on the expected value in stuff from performing different acts. Paul warns that all this stuff is a trap:

In fact, worse than worthless, because once you've accumulated a certain amount of stuff, it starts to own you rather than the other way around. I know of one couple who couldn't retire to the town they preferred because they couldn't afford a place there big enough for all their stuff. Their house isn't theirs; it's their stuff's.

Even in our own persons, we see the accumulation of stuff. Moms nationwide have been telling children to "finish your plate" because of starving kids in Africa, but then portion sizes got bigger in America over time as restaurants sought new ways to make money and now the smallest or children's portion sizes served in restaurants today were the only sizes offered fifty years ago. Likewise, American waistlines have grown exponentially larger over the course of a few decades.

Our bodies also gather stuff like trace amounts of industrial toxins and pollutants. The threat is not entirely unambiguous, as things like computer chips, for instance, rely on ever more exotic and rare toxic materials for faster performance.


I noticed that Scott Hanselman also made a significant move the same time as me--in the process, redesigning his home to accommodate his new telecommuting job at Microsoft such as  separating his home office from household distractions. Where I tried to cull my belongings, Scott may be doing the opposite.

image Scott Hanselman is the alpha geek, always needing to purchase the next big toy such as the iPhone, much like the iPod Annie was holding earlier. At a conference in May, he revealed all sorts of gadgets attached to his person.  Later, he blogged about his new stuff--his new baby, the new high speed network at home, four monitors on main machine, and Windows Home Server. I was salivating at his new setup until I realized that I am already satisfied with what I have now.

Scott's new toys might all make sense as speaking points for his podcast gig, but I think they may eventually rule him. In his effort to create a dream home, Scott may be building a nightmarish house overflowing with stuff. He may never know though, because one can only visit experience a single future.

PS: I just found his comment about his financial relationship with his wife, Mo, admitting that "she keeps me grounded and she was right about the iPhone being a mistake."

November 24, 2007

Triple Nine

Sorry for this self-indulgent post. It will probably be of interest to only 0.1% of you.

I have been interviewing high schools students applying to Harvard College for the past three years. There are twice as many applications today as there were in my day, and the admittance rate has correspondingly dropped by half. None of the applicants that I previously interviewed were accepted, and only one, the top student in a class of 600, was wait-listed. All of the applicants though were very talented and qualified as if the weak students self-selected themselves out. In my past MBA life, I have also read applications for the business school with a similarly low acceptance rate and only one of the 15 applications I examined was accepted.

A new student I just interviewed is promising... She has all the right ingredients and knows how to market herself. I googled her on the Internet and found a web trail of achievement starting from middle school. I probably connected with her because of her perfect ACT score, which she claimed only one in the state and 22 in the nation. I checked this statistic on the ACT website and there are actually 500 perfect ACT scores (or 1 in 4,000) in the nation, so the rank was probably just on the instance of the test.

I scored the equivalent of a perfect 1600 in today's SAT, which bests Bill Gates's own 1590. Before the 1995 recentering of the test from an average score of about 900 to 1000, the SAT was scored more stringently with an average of seven 1600s out of over a million in the nation per year (getting a perfect score then made the news); nowadays, it is closer to 700. I also scored a 790 out of 800 in the GMAT, which was the single highest score of my MBA program in my year and subsequent years (except for the most recent year in which an 800 was recorded).

My high school maintained anonymous scores for the past four years, and my score was the highest among a total of 1,600 student's across all those years--an outlier among outlier scores-- despite my school admitting the top third based on a competitive examination. It also was substantially above my Harvard class average.

With a 99+ percentile ranking for both sections of the test, it was clear to me that I made a triple nine (99.9% or 1 in 1000 in my composite score and probably in my individual ones as well).  A triple nine is equivalent to a IQ of 149 (std 16); a double nine, 137.

I had taken a college statistics course at Columbia University during my last year of high school, and attempted to see if I made a quadruple nine (99.99% or 1 in 10,000; corresponding to 160 IQ) by computing a percentile from my composite score by assuming a normal distribution and estimating the variance and correlation of math and verbal scores. A normal distribution was a fair assumption because of how questions are "normed" from similarly distributed populations from past tests. I learned that was right on the threshold of a quad, but that the result was extremely sensitive to my estimates.

I decided after the interview to use the web to conduct my research, which was not at my disposal in 1990. Unfortunately, the recentered perfect score tops out at 99.98% or 2 in 10,000 (the original SAT topped out at 99.9995%), so I have to use my original scores.

I decided to look up the qualifying scores for various intelligence societies for the elusive 1 in 10,000 indicator. I was never really impressed with Mensa, because it used scores at the 98th percentile, which are below the average scores of the top public and private schools in the nation, but there are several intelligence societies with more stringent limits.

The intelligence society, Mega Society, which takes one in a million, obtained from an ETS statistician an actual histogram of SAT scores from the five year period between 1984-1988, of which one of the scores is my own, from which I can calculate my actual exact percentile. The process unfortunately is a bit tedious and not worth that much to my ego.

Fortunately, I can let others do the work for me. The Triple Nine Society publishes qualifying scores for various tests. I meet the bar for triple nines for both the SAT and GMAT, each by a wide margin. There is no society which admit members exactly at the quadruple-nine level. The Prometheus Society admits those who meet 1 in 30,000 or roughly 4 sigmas. I am lower than their cutoff but still within the range of statistical insignificance. (Fig 8.3.3)

It doesn't matter that my scores are high, since people still assume I am an idiot. It's also not really satisfying knowing that the tests are inherently flawed and not just for the limited material tested. For instance, I know many non-native English speakers, generally intelligent and gifted in math, feeding the bottom with dismal verbal scores.

Distractions, II

I just finished my move and am developing again. I was away from my computer and the Internet for over a week as I focused on getting the move behind me.

Right now, I have to make up for lost time. This move was unplanned and forced upon me by my rather unusual living situation and some opportunism. I lived in a house, which I sold to my ex-wife, for seven years.

I lost almost two months worth of significant productivity in anticipation and completion of this unnecessary move ahead of my product release.

October 21, 2007

Mom

In an article "How Far Behind Is Linux" in the Wall Street Journal, Lee Gomes interviews Linus Torvald and learns that his own family members in his native Finland don't use Linux.

Among Microsoft's customers, concedes Mr. Torvalds, are his father and sister, though Mom has managed to resist the allure of the dark side.

The mom bit was interesting to me. We have all heard the saying that software should be made easy enough even for Mom to use, but it was only a few years ago when I really begun to appreciate the mom phenomena.

Back around 2003, when I visited my parents back in New York, I resolved to teach Mom how to use the computer or more specifically the Internet.

I showed my mom how to use AOL to access the Internet. I found websites that I thought she would be interested in, like switchboard.com(?) for searching phone numbers for all of her friends around the country. The people search feature piqued her interest, but I never succeeded in getting her to befriend the computer. Instead, when Mom is interested in knowing the whereabouts and contact number of someone, she calls me so that I can look it up on the Internet.

Later, I discovered how much of an extreme technophobe my mom was. She never even used an ATM machine. She always meets with the bank teller to deposit and withdraw money. Everyone else in the household uses a computer, and I always assumed that she encountered computers when she used to work.

I wonder if there is still an hope for her. Perhaps, something like WebTV (now it's called MSN TV) would help. AOL still has too many steps for beginners.

September 27, 2007

Perils of Blogging

This past year and in the past months, I have not written as many posts as I have in earlier years and in earlier months.

I find myself putting up posts (a global reply to ALL) that I later and almost immediately regret, followed by a very long break from blogging to cool down and ban the topics that get me into trouble like certain products.

I've become afraid to blog. During a wedding attendance, I noticed my brother whom I rarely see would frequently cut off my conversation (in a kind way) because I breached some social taboo.

I know better, but I am not always in one mind. Even though I don't drink, don't smoke, and don't use any substances or medication, I still find naturally "intoxicated" sometimes from fatigue, low oxygen, low sugar or something. The posts that I write in this state typically contain the most errors as well.

I didn't really think much of guidelines, but it seems to be effective to have a quick set of rules that do not require thinking, such as not talking about people, products. I removed my past company affiliation from the front page of my blog.

I also seem to harbor some amount of negative energy. In addition to guidelines, I'll probably eventually have people screen my posts.

Sorry, if I offend anyone. Please leave an anonymous comment on any offense and I'll try to make any changes.

December 20, 2006

Helping Africa

This is a post to support two different friends of mine, who are helping improve the lives of people in Africa.  You might also get some cool .NET software cheaply, too. Read on…


Jamie Cansdale of TestDriven.NET fame has organized a .NET software charity auction to raise money for a safe drinking water and irrigation project in Malawi; the auction ends today (21 Dec). His father was the technical advisor in this project.

Here’s Jamie’s plea, which is also repeated in his blog post, http://weblogs.asp.net/nunitaddin/archive/2006/12/14/net-developer-software-charity-auction.aspx.

To date the project has been funded almost entirely by the founders of the charity. Now the project has hit its stride, a little extra funding could go a long way. See the blog entry here for a progress report:
http://wellsforzoe.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/article-in-lucan-newsletter/

There is lots more information on the 'Wells for Zoë' charity website:
http://www.wellsforzoe.org/

Eric Sink (SourceGear), Eli Lopan (TypeMock), Mark Miller (devExpress), Atul Godbole (Sky Software), Jonathan Cogley (Thycotic) and Jeannette Arrowood (Syncfusion) have all kindly donated licenses for their software for an Ebay auction. I have also put up for auction 3 MSDN subscriptions with VS2005 Team Suite (using my MVP Invite cards). Together this is nearly $45,000 worth of software!

By bidding, you might be able to get .NET software much cheaper than you would have been able to before. What a great bargain; you can buy cool software and demostrate compassion at the same time.


Paul Konasewich has been raising some money for a community in Zambia.

This is the site for Africa Vulnerable Children Project that he is working for and where you can make donations. Here is the original plea for donations that he mailed out his friends.

To the right is one of the beneficiaries of the project.