Joe Bork and Eric Lippert have been commenting on the questions people ask after discovering they worked for Microsoft.
I became a mini-celebrity in my MBA program in California because of my Microsoft background. It also turns out that having been a developer in the Excel division is very useful in business school, where most of the assignments involve spreadsheets.
I held a session on Excel Tips and the room was so packed people were standing everywhere. Unfortunately, I should have prepared more. People did not really care about me, they cared about Microsoft. Since then I realized that I could put my Microsoft past to profitable use; it is still doing a lot more for me than my Harvard degree ever did.
These were the questions that I was asked at my MBA program?
1) Have you met Bill Gates?
I met him a few times, but each time I would become completely speechless like an idiot. He looks like a normal person until he focuses his attention to hear you speak. I did at some other time give a demo to Bill, which was a terrifying experience in which I was expecting to be butchered, but was saved because he was in a hurry. He has a tendency to point out flaws. I don't worship people, but Bill has an aura that makes you blind, just from knowing who he is.
Bill is well known for his abrasive remarks toward people, such as saying "That's the stupidest thing that I have every heard," "Where did we hire you from?", and "If you didn't come to work tomorrow, how would things be different." One past presenter, I believe, quit after hearing one of the last two remarks.
He's not so tough, though. He will respect you, if you defend your ideas; otherwise, you turn on his "bozo bit." A mathematican, he thinks in terms of models; if he is persistent about the right way to design a product, you need to call out his mental model, and walk him through a different model and show him why your model is more appropriate to use for the feature in consideration.
When the Office Assistant was introduced into Office 97, Bill Gates was initially turned off, arguing why would anyone would want a "f---ing clown" telling him what to do. Since then, the assistant has been known internally and documented in code as TFC for "the f---ing clown." Apparently, someone challenged his mental model and won, and we all know what came of Microsoft Bob.
No one ever asked about Steve Ballmer. I actually was in a meeting with him and other people before he became CEO to talk about the integration of SQL Server and Excel through new OLAP capabilities. Unlike Bill, Steve was completely non-technical, and every jargon flew over his head--very un-CEO-like. When confronted with jargon, he began speaking in unisyllabic Anglo-Saxon words you learn in grade school, about how he saw PivotTables in production use, but only it wasn't PivotTables, it was some other non-Microsoft app. "I want to see Excel there. They need to be using Excel."
2) Can you fix my computer?
I became the IT guy on campus. People, who would never talk to me normally, asked me for help with their computer. I hated that.
3) Do you know how to use PivotTables?
"Why, oh yes, I wrote that feature in Excel." Usually when people ask me what I did, I say that I was pretty much responsible for the "Data" menu in Excel.
4) Can you get me a job at Microsoft?
Maybe.
5) Are you a millionaire?
No comment. Just think. If I weren't a millionaire, wouldn't this be a really annoying question to hear.
You could have avoided #2...
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/frustrations/388b/
Seems like it was almost made just for you ;-)
Posted by: Ryan Farley | January 13, 2004 at 09:36 PM
Off topic: Why your feed has only a few lines of the post? You dont have ads, so I dont know what's the point.
Posted by: Eduardo | January 15, 2004 at 03:36 PM
Eduardo, I get his feed and get the entire text. It might be your feed reader.
Oh, and excellent article.
Posted by: Gareth Lewin | January 20, 2004 at 04:04 AM
Quite frankly, i would like to talk to you via email. i would like to talk to you, and exchange some open thoughts: What you do, where you are, why you do it? Can we exchange some ideas? Indeed, do we have anything in commo
Should you choose to reply, I am
Most Deliberately,
Douglas L. Williams
Carl Douglas & Associates, LLC
Posted by: Simply Doug | February 04, 2004 at 05:38 AM
Doug, your email address is not valid.
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Posted by: Cary Landers | February 24, 2004 at 04:03 PM
my computer messed up some how now my computer only has two color settings and i dont have high color (16 bit) or 256 color how can i get my computer back to normal
Posted by: lisa stegg | March 27, 2004 at 07:29 PM
my compaq presario model number 12xl125 has only 16 colors and 2 colors how can i fix this it is stoping me from playing dvds and using aol right
Posted by: bessie taylor | April 11, 2004 at 03:07 PM
my computer won't turn on...the power supply fan is on and i open it up and there is power going to the motherboard....but there is no power to the monitor and keyboard
Posted by: | April 18, 2004 at 06:12 AM
my computer won't turn on...the power supply fan is on and i open it up and there is power going to the motherboard....but there is no power to the monitor and keyboard
Posted by: Melissa Owens | April 18, 2004 at 06:15 AM
Hey, my computer does the same thing. I only have 16 bit color, I cant get 256, and also my size will only go to 640x480. can you help me?
Posted by: Matt Burns | April 26, 2004 at 12:57 PM
my color on my computer is not working right.one time before the computer mess up. i cant see my
pictures
Posted by: wendy | May 14, 2004 at 12:08 PM